Are you feeling lonely?
by YuryJulian
Summary: It wasn’t the first time he’d ever asked the question, but this time it hurt more than usual. first season. a little chat between bridger and lucas.


Disc: All rights belong to the maker of seaQuest DSV and I will not earn any money from writing this story.  
  
Refur and Kathy, I'd like to thank you for your beta reading!!!  
  
Are you feeling lonely? by YuryJulian  
  
"Are you feeling lonely?" It wasn't the first time he'd ever asked the question, but this time it hurt more than usual. It wasn't because the situation was different this time... or maybe it was. Normally the person he asked was not so closed off and hadn't turned away from him as this one had.  
  
The teenager looked up from his book dispiritedly. "Is it that obvious?"  
  
Bridger closed the door behind him and went down the few steps to sit down on the end of Lucas' bunk. "A three week shore-leave starts today and everybody is packing. Only you've disappeared to your cabin and you're ignoring everyone." He pointed at the tube where the sea mammal was swimming near Lucas. "Only Darwin is allowed to come near you. It seems like he's the only one who can give you exactly what you need at the moment."  
  
"Aren't I allowed to stay on board during the vacation?" The computer genius put a postcard in his book and laid it beside him. He sat there with his knees pulled up tightly to his body and his arms around them. "It was OK before. I thought I would stay here this time, too. It isn't like there's nobody to look after me. The duty crew is still here." And the woman who worked in the galley, who tried to replace his mother and frightened him every time he entered the mess hall and saw her there. Anyone who thought Dr Westphalen was obsessed with nutrition hadn't met this woman. With her you had to be hungry and not object. But he didn't mention this to the captain.  
  
"Of course you're allowed, but I'm asking if this is going to be difficult for you. Don't get me wrong. It's not my intention to tell you what to do and what not, that's what your parents are for."  
  
Lucas made a contemptuous noise and Bridger didn't need to inquire further. "Have you asked if you can visit them?"  
  
The teenager's eyes became glassy. He had to bow his head so that the captain couldn't see him fighting back the tears. "I always call them when there's shore-leave. Mostly there's no-one at home and I leave a message on the answering-machine or write something. If no-one calls back I know they have no time for me, or they think that I could ask the other one. They never have any time for me. Every time they promise me that I'll be allowed to come next time but unfortunately it hasn't happened yet," he said quietly.  
  
Darwin laid his head against the glass of his tube, trying to console his friend.  
  
"This time, too?" asked Nathan.  
  
Lucas nodded. "Yes. Actually it doesn't matter to me that I can't visit them. And if I could visit them, it wouldn't change anything. I would sit alone at home and try to find ways to kill time I was always alone. It doesn't matter if I'm at home or on board seaQuest. Right now everybody's interested in their own business. They're looking forward to going home and they can't wait to get off the boat."  
  
"That's not completely true." Bridger approached his youngest crewmember. He laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I care for you. That's why I'm here. Unlike the rest of the crew, there's no-one waiting for me at home. Only Darwin is left and at the moment it looks like he's not planning to leave you. He feels your sorrow. You can't fool him." His voice was gentle and comforting. Just at that moment he was not the captain of the largest submarine on the planet. No, he had changed. He spoke like a father who felt great sorrow for his child, who was trying to protect him from all harm but found that he couldn't because he didn't know what it was, what it was that caused his child pain.  
  
An almost invisible smile flitted over Lucas' face. "What are you telling me?"  
  
"What I'm trying to say is, although you're feeling lonely, and always have been, there's somebody who is here for you now. I don't want you to hide in here and wait for your friends to come back from their fantastic vacations. They're all going to have fun over the next three weeks and you're just going to sit here moping. That's what you're thinking right now, right?  
  
Now Lucas smiled. "Can you read my mind?"  
  
"No, Lucas, but despite the short time you've been on board, I know you really well, and that's the reason why I know why you're feeling depressed. I wouldn't be feeling any other way if I were you, either."  
  
His fight against tears was forgotten and he was able to look at the older man without shyness. "Will Darwin stay here with me? I could go to the beach with him, and then I wouldn't just be stuck on board."  
  
"No, I won't let him stay here."  
  
Immediately disappointment and sadness returned to the computer genius' face.  
  
"Just like I won't let you stay here!" Bridger said emphatically.  
  
Now the teenager stared at him, surprised. Before he had time to say anything the captain stood up.  
  
"I want you to pack your things and come with me. I've already told you that no-one is waiting for me at home. Why don't we make the best out of this situation and spend the vacation together at my island. After all, it's better than seaQuest. You can play with Darwin at the beach there too. It's a private beach, and no-one will be angry if you stand in the sun, except me." Now the captain was grinning ear to ear.  
  
Still overwhelmed by the offer Lucas stared at him eyes wide. "You really want me to come with you?  
  
Bridger nodded. "Of course. Is it that difficult to believe?"  
  
"If you had been passed from one person to the other like me, and had to go away because you are in the way, then it would be. Up till now there's never been anyone who's come to ask me if I would like to visit them."  
  
"Then this is the first time! Hurry up. I'd like to see the sunset from my own terrace. But if you loiter around here I can forget it."  
  
This was all the encouragement that was needed, and after half an hour it was Lucas who was waiting impatiently for the captain, who hadn't finished packing.  
  
  
  
By the author: This is my newest story. The woman in the kitchen is from a fanfic by my friend Samusa, a spontaneous character who was not planned by her, but like so many people one who will have her own place in future fics. I hope she translates that story soon, it's really good and funny. Like Lucas and Ben ... ok, some day you will be able to read what they did.  
  
I don't know why, but this fic is longer in English than in German. Normally it's the other way round. ;) Hope you liked this story. At the moment I am not sure if this was really the end – maybe I'll write another chapter. We'll see. 


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